Co-dependency, Attachment & Bonding Issues

How do you know if you're co-dependent?  
​Well, you may be reading this for your spouse or a family member because you believe they need help!  This very behaviour might class as a co-dependent trait. Codependency can be described as the behaviour of being dependent on the needs or wishes of other people or of being controlling in relationships, or of losing one's identity within relationships whereby the person relies on the other person for their meaning and focus in life. Co-dependency can be found in relationships, including family, work, romantic, peer, friendship.  

Co-dependents often find they have a desire to "fix" another person and their problems.  They may find it difficult to function independently, have learnt to be an "adapted self" and feel they need the other person(s) to feel "complete" or "whole" over and above the human desire to be part of a loving relationship or wanting to matter to someone.  They put other people's needs before their own, sometimes not even knowing what their own needs might be, and then feel resentful or angry as a result.  This then manifests as a controlling and manipulative behaviour, sometimes covert and sometimes more directly.  

Often, the co-dependent is enmeshed with others, through a lack of boundary awareness.  Sometimes the co-dependent will not know where they end and other person begins.  Co-dependency is characterised by low self-esteem, denial, excessive compliance to others, being overly selfless, controlling and self-unawareness. 
Codependency runs in families too, where the dynamics during childhood fostered co-dependent behaviours.  Often the co-dependent will be in a relationship with an addict, or in an abusive relationship, or involved with those who are narcissistic.  

Angela has much experience in working with co-dependence and attachment issues, both with individuals and families.  Through the use of psychotherapy,  she can help you recognise patterns of your behaviour, understand boundaries and set them, nurture yourself and form healthier relationships with yourself and with others, breaking the co-dependency.  

Attachment issues are also areas of work Angela has experience in.  Attachment issues may result in commitment issues, neediness, anxiety issues around relationships and control issues.

You can call Angela on 07736 480 376 or email her for more details.