Help with Anger, Rage & Frustration

Perhaps you're having a problem with anger, being irritable, aggressive or passive aggressive.  Perhaps it's gone a step further and it's rage.  Sometimes anger is an emotion triggered by stresses of life, frustrations and disappointments and sometimes it's anger that's unresolved or harboured from the past, manifesting as bitterness, suspicion and resentment.

Whichever way anger is affecting you and impacting negatively on your life, it's important to be aware that anger is a positive emotion in its essence -  it's a natural human emotion to protect us, guard against boundaries being overstepped and being threatened or invalidated.  Anger, therefore, is really useful and can guide us through our lives as a compass to self-actualisation and self-preserve, keeping us safe.  It is when anger isn't expressed positively or even experienced at all consciously but repressed that it creates problems.  Anger can also get in the way of finding solutions, good communication and logical thinking when it is overly experienced.   Sometimes, underlying one's anger is another emotion, one that caused the anger as a reaction, or secondary experience.  Perhaps there is another emotional reaction that we don't want to experience - such as sadness, grieving or the realisation that there is futility in the situation we're facing.  Therefore, to understand the underlying emotions, giving birth to anger, is essential in healing and letting go of anger.
Some of us have beliefs or fears around anger that inhibit us from expressing anger appropriately.  Fear of anger can lead one to suppress the emotion, which isn't healthy.  Sometimes the very thought of feeling anger can trigger feelings of anxiety and shame, due to the person's past experiences.  The more we repress or suppress anger, the more wound-up we become internally. Depression is often caused through lack of expression, not just of anger, but other emotions too.

When we fear being angry, we can possibly fear other people's anger too and this can be a problem for others, often preventing us from experiencing or expressing appropriate anger ourselves.    Anger motivates us to validate who we are, express our needs and take action.   It moves us towards taking action against injustice. 

Some people say they never feel angry but this may be that we've dissociated from our anger.  Some of us claim we are never angry but our anger "leaks out" in passive aggressive behaviours such as sarcastic remarks, mutterings under our breath, stone-walling, with-holding our affection or our communication and harbouring resentment or bitterness.
How therapy can help
Anger management in therapy is a safe space for you to work through your anger, hurt, sadness and fear.  You will be able to explore ways of becoming more aware of your own emotional state and responses.  You can explore what underlies your anger, discovering what the primary emotions are and you will find ways of de-escalating your anger, so that you are able to feel comfortable with your anger and express it appropriately.   You will explore ways of expressing anger without fear of losing control and without bottling things up.  You will learn to feel in control and responsible for your emotional state and well-being, rather than at the mercy of it. You will be able to deal effectively and healthily with life's disappointments and frustrations.

During therapy, Angela will help you evaluate the cost of your current ways of expressing anger whilst exploring alternative ways of expressing your needs, without overspilling and dumping on those around you.  Angela will explore the causes and other emotions underlying your anger, helping you clarify what exactly you are feeling and also why you are feeling it, which will give you choice in how to react, how to behave and which battles to engage in, or not.  

For more information or to book an appointment, call Angela on 07736 480 376 or email her.